I am writing to you, you who sit there now and feel lonely. To you, who experience the empty and the cold and the sad.
To you, who feel like you are on the outside without anyone to talk to
You notice those who walk together in pairs, in groups, or those who sit together in crowds on the lawn on campus. It feels heart-breaking. You cannot get back to your dorm fast enough. There, you will not have to face the fear of being exposed. Exposed for not having anyone to hang out with.
I do not know if it is any consolation, but you are not alone in feeling this way. Many students do the exact same as you. The dorm becomes the safest place to be. No one can see your loneliness there.
But you know what? I do not think hiding out in your dorm is the best idea.
No, I really do not believe that at all, and I even think we can both agree on that.
Maybe you are feeling betrayed – or scared of betrayal? Perhaps you have even been betrayed once, or multiple times? How can I say this clearly. How can I say this so that you understand. It does not help to stay by yourself in your dorm. You are only betraying yourself. You need to be seen. You need to share. YOU need someone to hang out with.
I want you to take a chance and believe that you will be liked. That you will be loved. Just like “the invisible child” that the Moomin family took in.
Check out the episode here and you will know where I am going with this.
How on earth can I claim that this will help? After all, I have not lived your life. You have your own experiences and know little about what is to come. I understand your unease. Use that unease to move out among others. How can others know about you? You have become invisible, after all. I know that your uneasiness and your initiative will help you, and I cheer for you the most.
“Because even if the experience of what’s to come
is not in you
it is in me
and I know it is infinitely much to ask
but I ask you to believe in me
Because the day will come
when you are confident in yourself
and there will be days
that are worth the battle you are fighting now
Because even though perfect lives don’t exist
I promise you this:
There will come a time when surviving
no longer costs you your life”.
Psychologist and writer Thea Grepperud.
Do you need someone to talk to?
Us conversational therapists meet many students who contact us to feel more secure, safe, and confident. For now: if you have not met your Moomin family on campus yet, do not hesitate to get in touch with SSN Health.
Best regards, Kristin Maute, psychologist.
Kristin Maute
Psychologist
Kristin is no longer employed by SSN, but was the team leader at SSN Health when this article was written.
Kristin has many years of experience with treatment of for example anxiety, trauma and addiction to gaming, pornography and drugs. Kristin also enjoys working with raising inherent resources in each individual, for instance by challenges with self-esteem and self-confidence.
